


The Love We Share

by Cardassian_Kisses



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M, Forbidden Love, Lies, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Episode: s05e14 In Purgatory's Shadow, Secret Marriage, Secret Relationship, She's also 35 years old, Work In Progress, Ziyal wasn't killed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2020-06-28 18:00:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19817578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cardassian_Kisses/pseuds/Cardassian_Kisses
Summary: **This IS a Garashir fic (with a twist).** Ziyal was never killed and is alive to greet Garak upon his return. Things take a different path. For the sake of this story, Ziyal is 35 years old. Julian and Garak continue to have their lunches and information about Garak's relationship with Ziyal becomes apparent. Perhaps Garak divulges a bit too much and Julian isn't sure what to do. (I can't tell you everything up front. Where's the fun in that?)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly freeform writing. I don't have an outline, but I do have some ideas. Let's see where it goes. Will most certainly edit some later. Rating will more than likely change to E, eventually.

As Garak closed the drawer, he looked up into the mirror that hung above the dresser. He had nearly finished unpacking from moving into Ziyal's quarters. Their marriage, after all, was going to take place soon enough. In a few days, all his worries would be over and he could forget all about Julian Bashir, the unattainable goal, the fantasy beyond reality, a good friend best kept at arm's length. He was finally ready to put to rest the impossibility which was perpetually out of his reach. Yes, marrying Ziyal was the best choice. She loved him, and he cared for her deeply. What a relief to finally be getting on with his life. Tain was dead and the Obsidian Order along with it. Now was the right time to grow out of his former life, his former obligations, and his former fantasies. He looked at himself in the mirror and cracked a small smile.

  
Ziyal walked in suddenly carrying a stack of clothes, catching him off guard. "What are _you_ smiling about?" Her grin lit up the room with her clear affections. She glanced down as she set the clothes on the bed and looked back up at him.

  
Their eyes met in the mirror before he turned around to face her. "Nothing, my dear. Uh, I was just putting away the last of my belongings."

  
"It's never 'nothing' with you, Garak," she teased.

  
Garak sighed. "You're right, of course. I was just thinking of how fortunate I am to be here... with you. I never thought I'd find a reason to abandon my hope of going back to Cardassia."

  
"You always know exactly what to say. I'm the fortunate one." She stepped to meet him and sweetly kissed her betrothed.

  
Slightly peeking from the corner of his eye, he watched the reflection of her reaching up to kiss him. The surreality lingered.

  
He smiled into her loving eyes. "Why don't we get ready to meet Julian. It's nearly lunchtime."

  
"Oh no, I forgot to tell you. I'm meeting Nerys. She's helping me with a few finishing touches for the wedding. I'm sorry."

  
"No worries, dear. If you need additional help, you can always ask me."

  
"I know, but I've been enjoying spending time with Nerys. And you've already done so much by making me a beautiful dress. Go enjoy your lunch and please tell Julian I said hello."

  
***

  
"What finishing touches do they still need to make? It's just the day after tomorrow, isn't it? Mmm, the shepherd's pie is spot on today. " Julian took a bite.

  
The steam from Garak's tea wafted as he set it on the table. "I don't know, I didn't ask. I trust they'll be able to do whatever is needed in time. Ziyal mentioned how she's been enjoying spending time with Major Kira, so I left it at that."

  
"You're going to be a great husband by the sounds of it, Garak."

  
"I"m afraid I'll never get used to that word. It sounds so... traditional. I never imagined myself ever taking on such a role. What if I-"

  
"Mess it up? You won't. Although, I've never heard you doubt yourself before."

  
"I suppose I don't doubt my abilities, it's just that- Well, I'm not sure she sees me for who I really am. What would she see in someone like me? I don't want to disappoint her. What is shepherd's pie?"

  
"You should try it. It's comfort food. Sounds like you're getting cold feet."

  
Garak sneered at Julian's lunch as he sipped his tea. "Perhaps another time. Cold feet? I don't think so."

  
"But you do love her, right?

  
"Of course I do. And I believe she loves me. I just don't understand why."

  
"Does it matter?"

  
"To a degree, yes. I don't think any of her reasons would be nefarious, but it still would be a small comfort to know for sure."

  
"That reminds me of something a wise Cardassian philosopher once said."

  
"And what is that, Doctor?"

  
"I believe it was, 'That's the thing about love. No one really understands it, do they?'"

  
"Ah, I see. You do have a point."

  
Julian took a bite and smugly smiled.

  
Garak lifted his teacup, closed his eyes, and took a sip.

  
"Come to think of it, Garak, there are a few things." Julian's spoon made a clank on the empty bowl as he set it down.

  
Garak's eyes sprang open as he swallowed. "A few things? What do you mean?"

  
"Ziyal said it herself and she's right. You ARE intelligent and cultured and kind."

  
"Why thank you, Doctor, but I'm sure not many would share that sentiment. But you see, that's what I mean. Does she really see me for who I am? Is that really me?"

  
"I think it's part of you, yes, but not the whole you. I've given up on ever knowing the whole you, Garak. But if anyone should, it's her."

  
"Hmm."

  
***

  
"I don't think it should go here. Try it over there." Kira lifted the hand from her hip and pointed to the other side of the room.

  
"Thank you for helping me, Nerys. My mind has been all over the place."

  
"I'm happy to help anytime. Just ask! I can't believe you still haven't told your father, though."

  
"I know. But you know what he'll say! There's no point in having that argument. I'm just going to do what I feel is right for my life. And I feel this is right."

  
"We need to keep him away from here at least until the wedding is over. Then you can choose to tell him when you're ready but, Ziyal, he's going to find out sooner or later. What are you going to say?"

  
"I don't know, but I was hoping Garak could help me think of something clever. I've been trying to focus on getting everything ready instead of worrying about that. I'll worry about it more in a few days."

  
"Captain Sisko thinks your father will raise a lot of hell around here no matter when you tell him. At least try to have a plan in case you have to tell him something on short notice. What if he walked in here right now?"

  
"I don't know." Ziyal sighed heavily. "I'll talk to Garak tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 contains a brief sexual moment at the beginning. Not explicit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The vut'iyok is the soft flesh under the chin where Cardassians are said to keep their love and life force, much like the human heart. To "bear one's vut'iyok to the sun" (looking upward/show your throat) means to be overly candid, to reveal yourself, or to show affections or emotions. From Aronnax in the Abyss by DictionaryWrites https://archiveofourown.org/works/13627830/chapters/31292580
> 
> jI'Unt is the Kardasi word for genitals, but it's used in a different way here.

Garak threw his clothes in the basket and slipped into bed. "Lights off." He lifted his arm so Ziyal could cuddle up to him.

"This is the best part." She smiled with her eyes still closed as she felt his chest on her back.

"It is. It's so much warmer this way." Garak took a deep breath and relaxed.

"You'll never have to be cold again."

"No, I suppose not. Is this comfortable enough for you, my dear?"

Ziyal turned to face him and placed her hand on Garak's Chula. He sighed as her fingers circled the edges. She placed a tender kiss in the center. "Make love to me, Garak."

He said nothing as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a deep kiss. She gasped as he swept her off her feet, taking charge of her just like she wanted. She couldn't deny the Cardassian part of her had always longed for the commanding roughness of a Cardassian man. And Garak was a spectacular lover. Striking to see, dramatic, and impressive in his skill and attention, applying just the right combination of ruthlessness and sweetness.

He writhed as he worshiped her scales with his teeth. With each new gasp from her lips, he moved down to the next one. He moved up to kiss her vut'iyok. Only another Cardassian would understand the true significance of such a gesture. Garak had never dreamed he would ever be with another Cardassian again. Ziyal gasped as the tender kiss to her vut'iyok turned into an impassioned bite. The writhing increased until her shrieks of satisfaction came to a close. Falling to the side unenthusiastically, he held her as he regained his breath.

"Garak, what is it?"

"I'm fine. Just a little winded, that's all."

"No, I mean, you haven't completed."

"I would not have stopped short of you intentionally, my dear. You would have my last breath."

"I'm talking about you."

"Oh... I think I've been feeling stressed the last few days. You know, nerves. I hope you don't feel insulted."

"Of course I don't. But now that you brought it up, I've been feeling nervous, too. Nerys said I should talk to you."

"Oh? What about?"

"Don't sound so worried, it's not that bad. It's just about my father."

Garak winced. "Not that bad?" He shook his head.

"Okay, it's bad. What am I going to tell him?"

"Nothing. Don't tell him anything. I can keep it a secret as long as I'm alive."

"He's going to find out one way or another. Nerys is right. She's already heard from Captain Sisko that he's afraid of what might happen, especially here on the station. What if he tries to kill you?"

"I'm certain he would _try_. I'll think of something. Uh, try not to worry." He pressed a sweet kiss to her Chufa and pulled her head to his shoulder.

She closed her eyes. "I trust you, Garak."

***

Julian pressed his combadge. 

"Bashir here, go ahead."

"Good morning, Doctor. Please report to my office. We need to talk."

"Yes, Captain, on my way."

As Julian stepped off the lift in Ops, he noticed Major Kira giving him the side-eye. He hustled up the stairs and the door to Captain Sisko's office slid open.

"Doctor Bashir, thank you for getting here so quickly." As the captain stood, he began to pace around the desk. "I need to ask you about Garak." He looked up and glared at Julian.

"Garak? Um, I'll do my best to answer, Sir."

"Major Kira has expressed concern about Garak and Ziyal's wedding. What exactly does Garak think will happen if Gul Dukat shows up? I don't like the thought of unnecessary threats to the station. Does Garak have a plan to deal with him?"

"Hmm, I don't know. I mean, I don't think so, Sir."

"The last thing I want is for Dukat to lose his temper and cause trouble." He stepped toward the doctor. "Find out from Garak what he plans on doing about it. If he can't come up with a reasonable course of action, they'll have to hold the wedding somewhere else."

"Somewhere else?"

"I'm afraid so." The Captain nodded in regret. "The risk is too great. Please inform Mr. Garak he needs to think of something by tomorrow, or he's going to have to move his Cardassian wedding to Bajor." Captain Sisko shook his head again as he sat back down behind his desk. "Thank you, Doctor."

"Yes, Sir."

"Dismissed."

***

Garak looked up from his work and noticed Doctor Bashir walking outside the window. He smiled at Julian and gestured him to come into the shop.

"It's a bit early for lunch, isn't it, Doctor?" Garak checked his watch as he set some folded fabrics aside.

"I'm not here for that, Garak. I need to talk to you about something."

"Can we discuss it over lunch, then? There's no harm in going a little early today. But I need to finish preparing this order before we go."

"It can't wait."

"What do you mean it can't wait?" Garak stopped and peered at Julian.

"Well, I just talked with Captain Sisko. He's concerned about what you have in mind to deal with Dukat."

"Oh, that..."

"Oh, that? This is serious, Garak. Captain Sisko said if you can't come up with a reasonable course of action by tomorrow, you'll have to move your wedding to Bajor."

"The wedding IS tomorrow. We can't move it. It's too short of notice."

"I told you it couldn't wait."

"And a Cardassian wedding on Bajor?"

"He said it much the same way. Look, he's right that there will be serious trouble if Dukat finds out what's been going on. If you need my help moving, I'll help you."

Garak sighed. "Very well. That may be our only choice."

"At least show me what we have to work with. How much is there?"

"I'm not certain. Ziyal has been working on it with Major Kira."

"We better go have a look."

***

Garak and Julian strolled through the corridor nonchalantly discussing what might be good for lunch. They entered the gathering hall where Ziyal was humming and working on flowers. They stopped in their tracks and flinched as they were both shocked by the grandeur of the decorations and how much there would be to move.

"There's no way you two could move all this... to Bajor?! By tomorrow?" Ziyal was obviously distressed by this news.

"Well you see, my dear-"

"Maybe I could be of assistance." Gul Dukat stepped around the corner and slowly made his way toward the three.

"Father!"

"Hello, Ziyal. What are you doing here? I hope you're not associating yourself with this... tailor. If you need all this moved in a hurry, then I can get it done for you faster than these two." Dukat took a moment to look around. "A Cardassian wedding? Ziyal?"

Julian's eyes shifted to Ziyal. Ziyal looked at Garak. Garak looked at Julian and then back at Ziyal.

"Why yes, of course!" Garak hooked his arm around Julian's. "I wouldn't dream of marrying Julian in any other way!"

Julian's fake smile was broad. His eyes searched Garak.

Dukat's mouth fell open as an amused grin fought for dominance on his face. He laughed in their faces as Garak and Julian eyed each other and took it on the chin. "And you've been making all these flower arrangements, Ziyal?"

"Ohh... Yes! Aren't they beautiful?"

"Your father weeps, Ziyal. I hope that's all you've been doing for these two jI'Unt." Dukat waved his hand dismissively at Garak and Dr. Bashir. "I retract my offer to move any of it. I must speak with Major Kira about keeping a better eye on you, Ziyal." Dukat turned and walked out the door.

Three pairs of shoulders dropped as they sighed in relief.

Julian took his arm out of Garak's. "Quick thinking, Garak, but I don't have a wedding dress, yet." Julian joked but Garak's face was worried.

Ziyal tried to be reassuring. "It's all right, Garak. He's gone. We don't have to think of anything else to tell him now."

"Now we don't have to move anything, either." Julian grinned and patted Garak's shoulder.

"Right..." Garak looked up at the other two. "Well then, that's settled. Shall we go to lunch? That was a bit jarring. I could use a cup of tea."

"You two go ahead. I need to finish this up. For tomorrow!" Ziyal turned back to her work.


	3. Chapter 3

Garak and Doctor Bashir stepped into Quark's as other patrons walked by on their way out. They were fortunate to nab a table during the lunch rush.

Julian pulled his seat closer to the table as the Ferengi waiter went to put in their orders. "That was a bit odd. Dukat coming out of nowhere like that."

  
"Indeed, I'm glad it’s over." The knots in Garak's stomach hadn't yet untied themselves, oddly enough. “I enjoy a polite discussion as much as the next person, but he’s so good at making that difficult.”

  
"That's true. By the way, is it all right if I pop by the shop this afternoon? I need an adjustment on my suit for your wedding tomorrow."

  
The doctor’s words echoed in Garak’s mind. _“...your wedding tomorrow... your wedding tomorrow...”_ He hesitated for a moment. "Why of course, Doctor. There's no need to ask. Just stop by at any time." The waiter set a steaming cup of tea in front of Garak along with a bowl of stew.

"Great, thanks. It should be around 1630 hours when I leave the infirmary." A plate with a large sandwich was delivered to the doctor.

  
"I'll be happy to make any adjustments you need, Doctor." Garak flattened a serviette and smoothed it over his lap. "You get all the friend privileges, you know." Garak's impish smirk made the doctor chuckle.

  
"I know I do, Garak, thank you." Garak watched as the doctor's expression shifted from a grin. It was evident the topic was about to shift, as well. "So, have you decided where you're going for your honeymoon?" Julian took a bite out of the big sandwich and glared at Garak, waiting for an answer.

  
Garak furrowed his brow ridges as he continued to stir his tea. "Honeymoon?"

  
"You know... go spend time together... when you get married?" The doctor's eyes toggled and he leaned in with a lowered voice, "in private..."

  
"Doctor!"

  
"Well?"

  
"How very human of you to ask. But no, Cardassians don't have such a... custom."

  
"They don't?"

  
"Uhh. No."

  
"Well, then what _do_ Cardassians do when they get married?"

  
"I'll tell you one thing, my dear friend, we don't waste time and money going off on holidays when there are new duties to be done. Why would one go away from the home when it's the time to be building it?"

  
"Ah, I get it."

  
"Do you?" Garak replied emphatically.

  
"I'm not surprised that Cardassians would do something so mundane."

  
"Mundane?! Doctor, are you trying to say that humans spend all their time as newlyweds wasting energy and effort on entertainment?" Garak's laughter bounced through the air and carried throughout Quark's bar.

  
"Not ALL their time, but a good part of it. Yes! It's supposed to be one of the most exciting and memorable times of your life! Why don't you and Ziyal go to Risa, or-or-or Earth! Earth has some beautiful places for honeymoons, too."

  
"My dear doctor, if I were going to visit Earth, I'm sure I'd fare far better going with someone who is _from_ Earth. At least for the first time. Wouldn't you agree?"

  
"I suppose you're right."

  
Garak hummed in agreement. "It's of no consequence, anyhow. We're not going to go anywhere. We're just going to stay right here and work on making a strong home. It's a very bonding experience, that's part _of_ it."

  
"Don't you bond in any other ways? Or is it just all work?"

  
"Are you asking what I think you're asking, Doctor?"

  
Julian shifted in his seat. "That's what I'm trying NOT to ask."

  
Garak scoffed. "If you must know, yes. We do that, too. At home... That's part of building a strong home."

  
"Aha, so that's why you feel it's a waste to do it elsewhere."

  
Garak sighed and rolled his eyes slightly. "Yes, doctor. I hope you're satisfied because I really must be getting back to the shop. It's already been an unusually taxing day and I'm looking forward to getting the rest of it over with."

  
Julian's smile was assumed to be an affirmative. "Be sure to get some rest for the big day tomorrow."

  
Garak stood and gave a polite, Cardassian nod as he pushed in his chair. "I'll certainly try. And you remember to bring your suit by later."

***

  
“Julian! What the hell is going on?” Kira took a few steps into the infirmary where Doctor Bashir was working at a medical console.

  
“What? What are you talking about?” Julian’s hands stopped pressing buttons as he stood up.

  
“Gul Dukat was just in Ops ranting to Sisko about how you and Garak are getting married! Everyone in Ops heard it. We could hear him laughing through the door!”

  
“Oh, no...” He sat back down and palmed his face with both hands.

  
“Yeah! Then, he came out of Sisko’s office and told me to keep Ziyal away from Garak and that I wasn’t doing enough to 'keep an eye on her.' I don’t like this Julian. Can you tell me what the hell happened?”

  
“He came into the hall suddenly and, um, me, Garak, and Ziyal were all in there with all those decorations and-” He looked away and sighed before continuing. “-he started to question Ziyal about the wedding being Cardassian, so Garak had to jump in and say that he was marrying _me_. It took us all by surprise. It was quick thinking on Garak’s part, really. Dukat was already upset enough that she was making flowers for...us.”

  
Kira stamped her foot and shook her head. “Dammit, Julian!” She couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst out laughing.

  
“Well, I’m glad you find it so funny.” Julian scowled.

  
“Julian, I’m sorry. It’s just that- Julian...” She stopped laughing and looked at him seriously. “How long do you think you’ll to be able to keep this up? Every time Dukat comes around, are you going to pretend to be married to Garak?!”

  
Julian’s face glazed over as he glanced up at her with uncertainty. “I... I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”


End file.
